HOW TO SUCCEED AS A THEATRE TECHNICIAN

There are a few rules you should learn if you want to become a successful theatre technician. 

Rule #1:

This is the most important rule - Remember, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Nothing that goes wrong around you is ever your fault, it is always someone else's fault. 

Rule #2:

Once you have identified the guilty party (obviously not yourself), shout at them. Shout loudly and keep on shouting, making sure that the guilty one cannot get a word in. If they can't say anything, they can't prove you wrong (See Rule #3).

Rule #3:

You are never wrong. No matter what, you are right and everyone around you is wrong.

If you adhere to these three basic rules, you will gain the respect of all around you and succeed as a theatre technician. You will have a long and prosperous career and will be rewarded with many friends and lots of money.

All of the above are wrong.

We all make mistakes - own up to yours, apologise and move on, making sure that you never make the same one again. Honesty, in the theatre, as everywhere else, remains the best policy.

Remember the little boy who cried wolf? Keep on blaming those around you and shouting at them, you will be seen the same way. The day that it really is not your fault, nobody is going to believe you.